Review of the game Project Eden


Wise people who swam in their lives not only, excuse me, in shit, say – “as you name a yacht, so it will sink.” Kind, but not always understanding mothers protect their children from the influence of socially unworkable elements with the help of “whoever you behave with, you will get it in the eye from that.” What if you put it all together? What if you were named Eidos as a child, and Core Design signed up as a friend? More boobs for polygons (or vice versa), the name is more resonant and … voila!

Real meat

Finally tired of all their ravine grave chronicles, old friends sit down for a fundamentally new and qualitatively different, as it seems to them, product that can cause euphoria even in the Snow Queen and Gallen. By the way, I remembered the old games, how they are there … Goblins, it seems. And also Lost Vikings, or something. In general, it was a long time ago, you see, they will not remember. Yes, and a fertile theme turned up.

To the unhappy Far Future, he hiccups and coughs without a break. You know, I don’t want something any reincarnations and other esotericism. I have already come to terms with the fact that we will be captured by reasonable daisies, and also with walks under a post-nuclear sky. The third option is slightly forgotten.

but thanks to the deeds of the venerable masters of Eidos, it resurfaced in memory with extraordinary ease. The division into upper city and lower city has already occurred a thousand times, but still not as often as the arrival of strangers and the unsuccessful games of scientists with the atom. As it should be in this case, the rich and happy live upstairs, and the garbage, the waste of society and the miners downstairs.

It so happened that a company with the gangster name “Rialnoye Meat”, rooted in that very lower city, had problems with technology. The team sent to deal with what happened safely disappeared along with a couple of careless scientists. To find out the source of the troubles and restore the former equilibrium, a group of the best specialists is sent, which, in fact, will have to be led, whether you like it or not.

Goblins in paradise

The state of deja vu makes itself felt from the very beginning. Once upon a time there was such fun with two goblins going to rescue the prince. The prince turned out to be so-so, but do not leave him in the end. One of the goblins was immensely stupid, the other horribly clever. One ate raw eggs and knew how to hit a chicken on the head, the other cooked eggs from them and knew how to light a fire.  It is a pity, there are no stupid ones – all, as luck would have it, are smart.

Four UPA (Urban Protection Agency) agents are sent to a showdown with those who have broken the measured rhythm of red gold production. Carter is a natural leader, the only one who can speak and who is recognized by the local security system. Minooka is an oriental-looking female hacker who is able to communicate with technology in her native language (well, like, “zero-zero-one-zero, you’re a fool, in short!”). André is a repair specialist. And Amber is a tin can with brains aka Robocop, not afraid of fire and suffocating gases, even of natural origin.

Only one character of your choice is allowed to control at a time. The rest, like obedient lambs, will trail behind him, periodically getting stuck in doorways and blocking the path, getting lost halfway through the road and generally braking terribly. It’s amazing how, with such an AI, they manage to shoot enemies on their own. However, this is where all the ingenuity ends, leaving the player bewildered.

The most annoying thing about this is that you will have to shoot very little – ninety percent of the time is spent rushing from one puzzle to another and solving it. The further, the more the whole action begins to look like a quest. Take it there, click here, climb in there and pick it up, then click it again and finally get out of there. But only Carter can press, climb in – canned food, and dig deeper – Samodelkin. At the same time, Minooka must necessarily jump around, creating noise and depicting a support group.

In general, the tasks are simple and require a little care and in places – switching from the first-person view to the third-person. Unless unique actions like hacking a system or fixing it will require minimal skill and will take exactly twelve and a half seconds more than the usual pressing of a button.

Having mastered with surprisingly good management, you can quite quickly switch between workers, literally running through tasks one after another, fortunately, the local population does not particularly like to chat, and you will not have to find out endless details from everyone. But watching them is a pleasure! You experience endless joy at the sight of a priest crap in the toilet and workers sitting on each other’s lap (or even in the air).


It is allowed to launch radio-controlled toys that can pitifully poke around with microscopic cannons and collect scattered trash into especially fashionable places where the over-fed agents cannot crawl through. Slightly akin to Red Faction in this, the glorious guys from Core Design went completely against the other, limiting the player as much as possible. A Geo-Mod that no one needs can voluntarily go to a landfill as unnecessary.

Want to pee in the outhouse? I don’t know anything, brace yourself. Don’t like that coffee machine? Me too, then what? Is the bum’s face unshaven and smells bad from the mouth? It’s not easy for everyone now. In short, interactivity is below absolute zero. You can only do something in certain places, and you can’t even kill a dog without the Pope’s permission, not to mention the guards who are simply canonized.